Archive for gospel
Why hell?
Last night was the first night of the Dare 2 Share Denver Blaze Conference (I work at Dare 2 Share). There is always a drama on Friday night and last night’s drama was about a letter from hell. A guy died and went to hell and wrote a letter back to his friend who was a Christian, demanding to know why she didn’t try harder to make him understand the gospel. It was very powerful and I’m sure that it affected pretty much everyone in that arena.
It definitely affected me but instead of wanting to go out there to share the gospel with others, I want to crawl under a rock, crouch in a corner, or any of the places the psalmist names in Psalm 139, despite knowing that “even there [God's] right hand shall lead me, and [His] right hand shall hold me fast.”
It’s not because I think I’m going to hell that I feel this way. As a Christian, I believe that because (and only because) Jesus Christ lived a perfect life and died on the cross for my sins, I am declared righteous by grace alone through faith in Him alone and am given eternal life in heaven.
But not everyone believes that. Which means not everyone is going to heaven. There are some people going to hell.
The depiction of hell last night was on par with Jonathan Edwards’ sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” I’ve heard that while he was giving that sermon, there were people gripping the pews out of fear that they would fall into hell right then and there. It is a VERY sobering thought. One that I don’t think about enough.
Because I hate thinking about it.
Greg (the President of D2S and the speaker at our conferences) wanted us to grapple with 3 theological truths last night: 1) It’s God’s responsibility to save. 2) It’s our responsibility to share. 3) It’s their (unbelievers) responsibility to believe. But this morning, I am left grappling with the question: Why hell?
Jesus said in Mark 14:21 about Judas Iscariot, “…but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born.”
I feel that way about all humans who go to hell. It would have been better for them to not be born. It wouldn’t even make a difference if this earth was the most magical place ever. It’s a blip on the radar screen of eternity. If one experienced bliss here for their entire lives, they would promptly forget all of it in hell for the agony, torment and fear would erase every trace.
And the part that bothers me even more is that we all deserve to go there. Without the substitutionary death of Christ, we all would be going there. I don’t deserve heaven any more than a man who has killed 10 people. I argue with my husband, am jealous of other women, disrespect my boss, not to mention all the hideous things I did back in college, before I knew Christ as my Savior.
Don’t think those things are as bad as murder? Doesn’t matter. Romans 6:23 says that “the wages of sin is death.” That means even just one sin–one little lie–merits death. And death means separation from God, which means hell. Because at the end of this age, this world as we know it will pass away and there will be a new heaven and a earth and only the righteous in Christ will allowed in.
But WHY? God knew we would sin when He created us…He knew people would go to hell. Why did He move forward with creation then?
The only answer I have isn’t the most developed but I believe God did it for His glory. Without our sin, there would be no need for Christ. And without Christ, God could not have revealed His character–His love, mercy, grace, forgiveness, justice, wrath. Colossians 1:15 says that Jesus “is the image of the invisible God” and verse 19 says “in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell.” Jesus Himself says in John 14:9, “Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” So then Jesus is the full, complete, perfect, divine revelation of who the Father is. By revealing His character, God reveals His glory.
As for creation, if we had not been created, we could not have an intimate relationship with God through Jesus.
Switching gears a bit, this excerpt written by John Piper in an article called “How Willingly Do People Go to Hell?” has helped me understand what the Christian’s role is in light of the reality of hell:
What sinners want is not hell but sin. That hell is the inevitable consequence of unforgiven sin does not make the consequence desirable. It is not what people want—certainly not what they “most want.” Wanting sin is no more equal to wanting hell than wanting chocolate is equal to wanting obesity. Or wanting cigarettes is equal to wanting cancer.
So when a person chooses against God and, therefore, de facto chooses hell—or when he jokes about preferring hell with his friends over heaven with boring religious people—he does not know what he is doing. What he rejects is not the real heaven (nobody will be boring in heaven), and what he “wants” is not the real hell, but the tolerable hell of his imagination.
Because those who are heading to hell don’t know the reality of their dire circumstance, God has called believers, those who know the freedom and rest found in Christ, to proclaim the good news of the gospel. In light of hell, the gospel really is GOOD NEWS! There’s a way to avoid hell! And even better than that, there is way to spend eternity with God Himself! It is through the person and work of Jesus Christ. There is hope for mankind in Christ.
And so while I still do not completely understand the answer to Why Hell?, I can bow at the throne of God and believe that, regardless of how much I comprehend of Him, HE IS. He is just but He is also loving, gracious, kind, patient, and forgiving. And I would say that His love trumps His justice because He was willing to kill His one and only Son to trump His justice with love.
What an amazing, awe-inspiring, majestic God. His ways are past finding out.
We all, like dogs, have gone astray.
A few blog posts ago, I blogged about a book I was reading called The Wonderful Spirit-Filled Life. Since I stayed home from church today with an unknown illness (H1N1?!?!?), I was flipping through the channels and stumbled upon a sermon by Charles Stanley, the author of that book. I had planned on listening to a sermon anyway, so I watched it.
His sermon was on Isaiah 40 and God being a God of comfort. He reminded his listeners that God knows everything tiny little thing about us–He knows so much about everything that He even knows how much the dust on the earth weighs! So we don’t have to be ashamed when approaching Him or polish ourselves up because He already knows the full truth.
And it got me thinking about the verse in Psalm 103, “For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.”
Our dog, Katy, is a well-behaved dog for the most part. But there are still things that she does “wrong,” like chewing on a blanket or eating poop (ew!) from the backyard, though she knows that she shouldn’t (because of our repeated reprimands).
Though I am disgusted by her behavior in those moments, I still love Katy because what she is doing is typical dog behavior. She can’t help it. She’s a dog and she’ll act like a dog.
Similarly, when we sin against God as Christians, He is disgusted by our behavior but He still loves us. “He knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.” He knows that we are sinful human beings and can’t help ourselves. That’s why He sent Jesus to die–to be our Redeemer, our Savior!
But He doesn’t just stop there. When Katy eats poop or chews on something she shouldn’t be chewing, I don’t just walk away and say “Oh well, she’s just a dog.” I try to get the poop out of her mouth (always unsuccessfully) and pull away what she’s chewing on. Just because she’s a dog doesn’t mean I don’t try to teach her better behavior.
In a similar way, God doesn’t just abandon us to our selfish and sinful inclinations. Instead, He sends His Holy Spirit to dwell inside of us, changing us from the inside out. He accepts that we are sinful human beings but doesn’t settle for that. He sees our potential in Christ and His greatest goal for us on earth is for us to be holy, like He is holy.
It helps me to remember that God is an understanding God. Hebrews 4:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.” Christ not only understands intimately what we are going through, He was also successful in beating these temptations! He shows us the way to victory–and that is through Himself.
This Puritan Poet
I went to the library during the last week of August and picked up a book about dog care (since I’m pretty much starting from square one there). While I was there, I perused through the books near the front that had been selected by the library as part of a certain theme for the month.
One of those books was Mistress Bradstreet: The Untold Life of America’s First Poet. I’ve also been quasi-interested in poetry and I love biographies. Since we were heading to Minnesota on vacation, I picked it up for what I call “fun reading” (books that don’t make you think too much).
It is a great book. While I admit that I not only find the typical history lessons boring, I can’t remember them to save my life, this kind of history is just fascinating to me. I love hearing about what life was like back in “the old days,” regardless of the age. I love hearing about people’s lives in times ranging from Biblical times, to the 1600s (during which time Anne Bradstreet lived), all the way to the 1950s. It’s not that I don’t like history; I can’t get into historical political happenings but I can get into people’s lives.
Anne Bradstreet (author of famous lines such as “If ever two were one, then surely we. / If ever man were loved by wife, then thee; / If ever wife was happy in a man, / Compare with me ye women if you can.”) was born in England in 1612. Raised in a Puritan household, she was taught to be submissive to men and her parents, to never speak her mind or ask questions, and to aspire to be a godly Puritan mother, the greatest achievement for a woman.
Whereas Anne could hold no radical ideals, her father and husband did. It was these radical ideals (the idea of creating a new Puritan nation, free from the sin and evil that characterized their native England during that time) that prompted their uprooting to start a new life in America, a land that at that time was still very undeveloped and uncivilized. They would have to endure cold winters, hard labor, near starvation, unknown diseases, and attacks from new enemies once they reached land–if they even survived the journey there.
The strength of Anne in the face of moving against her will and literally starting a whole new life in a new, undeveloped country is undoubtedly representative of the majority of Puritan women. Their faith in God, though somewhat radical at times, was unshakeable and penetrated every single aspect of their lives. Everything had spiritual significance and everything was viewed in relation to God. They prayed constantly, about everything from the most practical matters to the most spiritual ones. Because for them, there was no such distinct. If your milk curdled surprisingly early, it must have been God’s way of showing His displeasure. Everything revealed the state of one’s soul.
I admire their constant prayer and commitment to their faith. I admire their work ethic and bravery. I also admire Anne’s courage to venture out as a women writer, especially as a poet. The author of this book, Charlotte Gordon, makes the point repeatedly that Anne was being very audacious in her ventures as a female poet. It had never been attempted by a woman, as the realm of poetry was strickly the territory of men. But Anne, through her own family’s wealth and other fortunate opportunities she had during her childhood, was not only extremely bright, she had also received an education, something very rare for a woman in that day.
Besides it being obvious that I find all this information captivating, it has had implications for my own walk with the Lord. I see my old paltry prayer life in contrast with Anne’s and am chastized for not striving to deepen my relationship with Lord through that avenue. I see her dedication to research, writing, and studying the Scriptures on top of her immense, never-ending list of duties and wonder why I can’t find the time to dedicate even 30 minutes some days to my own studies? I see her life-encompassing view of God and am saddened by how much of my life I live in ignorance of Him and His ways.
But then I read about her doubts, her weaknesses (perceived by none other than herself), her worries and fears and unwomanly emotions (though she had the self-control to channel them exclusively through her poetry, instead of the outbursts I am prone to). And I see that often times, how people see us externally doesn’t often match how we see ourselves internally. It is easy to portray having it all together on the outside when everything is in shambles on the inside. For all the Puritans strivings toward purity, they were still sinful humans when they left this earth, just like all of us. What great assurance it is that we are all human, all in the same boat of needing a Savior! I often get down on myself because I feel like I’m not doing as much as “others,” like they’re making use of their lives and I’m wasting mine.
What really matters is our relationship with God, not how we manage our time or what we achieve. I finally finished my study of Romans today (only took me 8 1/2 months!) and Paul reminded the Romans at the very end that God is one with the ability to strengthen us for the obedience of faith; we are not. We are utterly and totally dependent on God for our lives of faith; there is nothing therein that we can or have accomplished ourselves.
This comes as an immense relief to me, for I often struggle with doubt, uncertainty, angry outbursts, indifference, laziness, and guilt. It is great knowledge that I can run to God in those moments of struggle and rely on Him to restore to me what I am lacking, so that I am able to glorify Him through all aspects of my life, even when it feels that I am a horribly lost cause.
Paul also reminded the Romans that this strengthening for obedience happens through the gospel, through the knowledge of what Christ has done for us on the cross and what our relationship with God now is as a result. Time and time again, God will lead us back to the gospel as the truth by which we live. Without the gospel, there is no hope. Without Christ, there is no life. Without God’s love, there is no meaning.
Whatever question may be circling through your mind, even if the answer seems very far off and totally indiscernable, the solution is always Christ and the truths within the gospel. God brings you through the bogs of confusion so that you may reach the open meadow of understanding.
The gospel according to Pretty Woman
I just watched Pretty Woman with my friend Charlotte. That’s a great feel-good movie. As I was driving home, feeling happy and upbeat like I usually do after a particularly good movie, I found myself thanking God for this world He has created.
But I couldn’t get past the fact that Julia Roberts’ character in the movie is a prostitute. Her lifestyle (and the fact that it is a reality for millions of women in this world) grieves me. No woman should have to live like that.
And yet, look around us. So many young women treat their bodies the same way. But they’re not selling their services; they’re giving them away for a reputation, for a good time, for empowerment and control, for a broken heart.
I know because I was one of them. I didn’t think twice about hooking up with a guy before I was a Christian. My ability to allure guys was actually part of my identity, part of what I thought made me valuable.
But then Christ rescued me, like Richard Gere rescued Julia Roberts. Christ looked past my ratty clothing, bad hair (Julia Roberts does not look good with platinum blonde hair), and indecent ways. He invited me into a relationship with Him, gave me new clothes (robe of righteousness!), and promised to teach me good manners (His ways).
And when Satan reminds me of who I really am (like Jason Alexander’s character reminds Julia Roberts), Jesus destroys him and kicks him out.
Obviously there are parts of the movie that don’t fit with the gospel but there is no denying that the storyline is compelling. And why? Why do human beings like movies like that–the whore who is redeemed by a rich guy when they fall in love?
Because every human heart is yearning for the gospel. We ALL want to be redeemed from what we have made our lives on our own. I didn’t like my life before I was a Christian. I was trapped in a web of lies, emptiness, and fear. I knew I wanted things to change but had no idea what I wanted them to change to…until I met Jesus.
I got a letter from my mom in the mail with an article by a lady who is training for her first triathlon. In the letter, my mom wrote, “I am really proud of you, who you are and all that you’ve accomplished and all that you are striving for. I feel so honored and blessed to be your Mom. I love you!”
Hearing my mom say that is one of the best things ever. And I honestly feel like Christ is the only reason why she can say that in honesty. Because before I knew Him, I wasn’t even proud of myself. I was ashamed and lost. But I’ve been found. And I’ve been redeemed by the Ultimate Savior.
That is so much better than Pretty Woman.
All I Have is Christ
I am proud to say that yesterday, I worked on my memoir for about 5 hours straight. I got into the groove and was on a roll. Hopefully I can keep this up so that days don’t turn into months and then years before this thing is finished.
I am currently writing about the time I studied abroad in Venezuela and one of the guys I dated, German (accent on the a), who was actually from Venezuela. I met him in Rochester, where I grew up, when he was studying abroad.
I won’t go into detail here, mostly because it isn’t relevant. But I am finding it difficult to remember really what happened between us and what our relationship was like, which is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I have been praying ever since I met Travis that I would forget everything about the “other guys” in my life. A curse because it makes it hard to write a memoir!! But I’d rather not remember for the sake of my marriage than remember for the sake of a book.
To “research” what happened during those years, I’ve been reading some of my old journals. It’s amazing to see how I have changed. More than just maturing over the years, I have developed a hope and purpose for my life that can only be from God.
I think of what my life would like right now if I hadn’t heard God beckoning to me that hot, sticky day in Venezuela: I’d probably still be basing my worth on men; hopping around the party scene; investing a fortune into fashion, fitness, and beauty; trying to climb the corporate ladder while secretly pining for a husband and a family. I would be lost, scared, and insecure. Most of all, I would be without hope. I would wonder if this is all there was to life, if no one ever craved something more. I would never be satisfied.
Reading Romans has really revealed to me how much we need the gospel–a Savior who demands nothing but faith for a gospel that is based on nothing but grace. Tim Keller said once in a sermon that there was a woman on the verge of becoming a Christian. She was scared to accept Christ because she knew that once she did, “there is nothing He can’t ask of me.” The gospel demands a full surrender of ourselves. There is nothing we can hold back from God.
This is my song right now:
I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still
But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ!
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life!
Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
Oh Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You
Sharing the Good News
This weekend has been a culmination of sorts. It was the Dare 2 Share Invincible Conference in Denver. I was at the event for the whole weekend and while it was physically draining (I’ve had an incurable headache all day), it was spiritually nourishing. Not only did my personal relationship with the Lord benefit (which I will talk about in a little bit), my job became ever more valuable.
Over 7,000 people filled the Pepsi Center for the conference. That’s a lot of students. And I have to tell you, it is beyond amazing to see these young people on fire for Christ. Not only are they fellow members of the body of Christ, they have found something to live for, a purpose for their lives. I can’t help but think back on my own life. What would my life look like if I had discovered that purpose in high school or even junior high? I have no doubt that if I had been invited to a Dare 2 Share event in junior high or high school, I would have rolled my eyes and said no. But maybe I would’ve gone…
There are hundreds of kids just like me (when I was that age) at our events: disinterested, apathetic, cynical, hopeless. And they leave the conference believing in their souls that Christ died for them. They leave with hope. They leave with the knowledge that, no matter how many people in their lives don’t love them, God loves them. And best of all, they leave with a burning desire to see their unbelieving friends come to know Jesus as well.
It’s ironic that I struggle so much with sharing my faith and yet I work at a ministry dedicated to teaching teens how to share their faith. I know God did that on purpose. Where else would I be continually convicted over the importance of giving hope to the lost, especially teens?
Our President, Greg Stier, is an amazing person. I’ve obviously heard him speak/preach quite a bit and know that since he is very animated and outgoing, he’s a great person to have speaking to a teenage crowd. But more than that, he is an inspiration. He inspires me to evangelize. God created Greg to eat, breathe, and sleep evangelism. He’ll tell you that ever since he became a Christian as a young boy, he’s been going around his neighborhood, around the mall, and now, around the country sharing the gospel. And not just in a preachy sort of way (though he does that too). He has the God-given ability to bring up the gospel with anyone, in any conversation. A guy in my care group also has that ability too. I get so inspired listening to both of them. They remind me that sharing the gospel is not something Christians do once in a while; it’s a lifestyle:
It’s walking through each day with the desire to share the gospel with someone, somehow. It’s seeing every situation and every conversation as a segue into the gospel. It’s seeing the gospel relate to every aspect of life, from waiting for a bus to eating a meal. It’s sharing the good news of Christ with those who are going to hell but don’t know it.
The biggest thing that happened this weekend was that God spoke to me. Listening to Greg speak, I knew the answer to my question, “What does living out my faith practically look like?” God’s answer:
Evangelism.
I’m pretty sure that I knew that was the answer all this time. And even now when I’m sure that it is the answer, I want to go look for a different one, one that’s not so scary and risky. One that I can feel comfortable doing. I feel like saying “God, I said I would follow you anywhere, do anything for You. But this? Anything but this…”
Whenever I think about sharing my faith with our neighbors or my brothers or friends from Travis’ work (since all of my co-workers are already Christians), I get a feeling of dread in my stomach. It’s like I’m back in 9th grade, dreading my next speech in speech class, feeling the impending doom of that fateful day.
But I know that it’s the answer, no matter how hard it is to take. I try to envision the living out of my faith without evangelism and it’s sort of like playing basketball with no hoops. I’m dribbling and running around but when I look up, I see that I’m just playing with myself. Similarly, it would be easy for me to just focus on my personal Christian walk. But when I look up at God, I see that I’m not actually playing in His game, I’m just sitting on the bench.
I want to play. I’m called to play.
But how do I play?
I know places I can start: my neighbor Patty, my brother Brian, friends I know through Travis. But beyond that… [insert big question mark].
I do know that my style of evangelism is going to look a lot different than Greg’s. He’s an outgoing person who speaks his mind…sometimes a little too much. 
I’m not shy but I wouldn’t say I’m outgoing either. And I definitely like getting to know people before sharing the gospel instead of doing cold evangelism. So where to get to know people?
I’ll let you know what I come up with.
Living for God’s glory
Oh, how hard I struggle to do this: live for God’s glory. It seems every time I turn around, I have yet another selfish, narcisstic, vain, sinful ambition or motive. Nothing brings these times out like marriage. A few days ago, I listened to a couple sermons on marriage by Tim Keller and in one of them, he says that marriage is used as a santificiation tool. Now, I knew that before I got married, and I do believe God was sanctifying me through Travis even before we were married. But nothing prepared me for this!
If marriage is a sanctification tool, then sanctification happens quite a bit differently than I thought it did before getting married–because I see all my sin coming out, but don’t feel like I’m being “sanctified” from it. I’ve heard it said before “When you pray for patience, does God give you patience or does He give you situations that you have to be patient in?” Marriage is a constant situation that requires so many virtues, all of which I feel I have only a microscopic sliver of–nowhere near the full amount I would need to be a good, humble, servant-minded, submissive wife.
Travis frequently tells me “You’re such a good wife.” While I know that he says it in knowledge of (and in spite of) my sinfulness, I truly feel like I don’t deserve such gratitude or compliments. So I respond “No I’m not.” I fall SO SHORT of who I want to be–and who the gospel says I could be! Just this past weekend, I kept saying and doing things I immediately regretted (over stupid stuff!) and got to the point where I wanted to just go to bed and sleep so that I didn’t have to deal with the stupid, horrible, sinful person I was being.
I know that I’m not believing the gospel. Reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer and listening to those sermons by Tim Keller, I have been shown that I am not resting in God’s opinion of me and in the hope of the gospel. I am living in a “world without windows” as Tim Keller says–meaning I am not living with my eyes set on the hope of heaven but rather set on the concerns of this moment–namely, my own desires, needs, and happiness. When I don’t get MY way, I get angry (and most of the time, I also get even.)
I just read a blog post about marriage and the struggle to believe in the sufficiency of Christ and the gospel by my friend Katie. She wrote, “I know I am being changed daily to be more like Christ, but it seems such a slow process…If I’ve been radically forgiven by Christ for all of my short-comings and for all of the sin in my life, shouldn’t I freely give grace to those around me, especially my husband?” I feel like I could have written those words. Except I probably would’ve said “I know I am being changed daily to be more like Christ…wait, do I know that? It doesn’t seem like ANYTHING is HAPPENING!!”
I have come to realize that while in the bubble of Campus Outreach, I was guilty of using all those truth phrases of the Christian life that have been so conveniently encapsulated into bitesize nuggets (so that the Christian can suavely throw them out in any conversation). Well, that bubble has popped. And all those phrases are still floating around my head–except I no longer know what any of them mean. Oh sure, I could explain them with WORDS. But the practical side of those truths got lost somewhere on the highway between Minneapolis and Denver.
Take, for example, living for the glory of God. I can sort of wrap my mind around the concept. But I can’t for the life of me seem to figure out what that truth means for my life.
Or take Living in light of the gospel. I understand the idea. I also could tell you what the gospel is and why it should effect me. Here is what I would not be able to explain: why it DOESN’T affect me. Why I am left with being the sinful, selfish, stupid person I was before I became a Christian. I know that I will continue to sin as long as I am on the earth. I just didn’t know I would still be so…pathetic.
I feel like I am at a stalemate, like the apostle Paul (oh, what glorious words!): “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!…There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 7:18-8:1)
The Bible doesn’t mention specifics in its exhortations to “live for the glory of God.” It doesn’t say “To live for the glory of God, you must work for charities in addition to serving the homeless, all while caring for sick animals and doing at least one mission trip every year.” It doesn’t say “To live for the glory of God, you must work at a job that contributes something to the greater good of society.” There are no specifics like that in the Bible. In fact, to illustrate this point about living for the glory of God, the apostle Paul uses eating and drinking, 2 things that every single human must do or else they die.
Even though there aren’t any specifics, I have been trying and trying to discern them for my life–and to no avail. I am starting to realize (through the help of the Holy Spirit no doubt) that the specifics of how to live out the Christian life come out of the principles of the Christian life. I need to understand the principles before I can understand the specifics.
That very thought leaves me completely empty-handed. I have seen increasingly more over the past year how completely incapable I am of discerning any spiritual truth without the Spirit’s guidance and prompting. Each time I blog, pray, read, or think about these things, I am left without my own resources, but utterly dependent on God’s spiritual provision in my life. To be sure, without Him, I am nothing.
“Wretched woman that I am! Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” The gospel is all I got.
Is this thing still on?
I haven’t done this in a while…I’ve just been running around like a chicken with my head cut off.
Here’s a recap of everything I’ve done since my last blog post:
1. Went skiing the past 3 Saturdays in a row.
2. Ran 7 miles, then 8, then 9 the past 3 Sundays.
3. Went to the final regular season game between the Avs and the Wild.
4. Went to the Frozen Four–two games last Thursday (4/10) and one on Saturday.
5. Went out to eat at a mongolian grill and then to a wine tasting with a couple from church.
Add to that all the craziness of work and daily life and it has been one busy month! So that’s why I’ve been lax on the blogging.
Here’s a highlight from the past month: My understanding of the Gospel is increasing. I feel like I fell back to the bottom of the ladder of Gospel understanding. I had been a couple rungs off the ground but the past couple months, I was lying flat on my back at the bottom, so out of it I wasn’t even sure there was a ladder. I just had–and am still kind of having–a really hard time grasping the impact of the gospel. I could tell you what the gospel IS but I couldn’t say what it DOES. The effect of the gospel on a human being is mysterious and complicated. And awesome. I guess I’ve been trying to take off the packaging and look at the gears so I could figure out how it worked.
I’ve come a little bit closer to understanding how that works. Here’s my journal entry from this morning:
“When we GET the gospel, when we truly understand God’s love for us, we are able to love and serve selflessly and humbly…because we are LOVED…Boasting in Jesus, His death and resurrection, is boasting in the Gospel. It’s boasting in the love of the Father for me, a sinner. It’s boasting in the fact that I am nothing apart from Christ, that He makes me what I am, and I live in daily dependence on His grace and mercy. It’s boasting that I HAVE A SAVIOR! Boasting in the Gospel naturally eliminates boasting about myself and my accomplishments or anything worldly. Like Paul writes in Galatians 6:14–’But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me and I to the world.’
“The Gospel eradicates our need for the world. We are already loved. We already have a secure future. Our desires have already found their satisfaction. We are already validated as human beings. We already have a purpose.
“THESE are the effects of the Gospel that enable us to live humble, selfless, generous lives. This is what allows me to turn the other cheek, to return good for evil, to be patient and gracious in the midst of anger and hostility. Make it REAL to me God! I want to SEE the Gospel transform my life!”
I know the Christian life is one of constant learning. I just didn’t know that I would have to keep learning the same basic stuff over and over again. But I’m seeing it like I have never seen it before. It’s fresh. And exhilarating. And amazing.
Our God is amazing.
