Fashionistas Sweat Too…

Hi friends!  While Kathy’s away in Minnesota (which I am so excited about because it means I get to see her in person!), I am stopping by to say hi from B. in the Know.

Now, I am a huge fan of fashion.  Hence the whole writing about fashion daily.  But just because one enjoys fashion, does not mean giving up being active.  And with that, being active does not mean having to give up looking stylish.  We mustn’t be afraid of the sweat – that extra glow can add to the look.  Plus, doesn’t every fashionista want to stay healthy?!  Well, that means it is time to break a sweat.

I am personally a huge fan of yoga.  I like to include Sculpt (yoga with weights), Vinyasa, and then a little dance mixed in (have you tried Zumba yet? It is one of my favorite classes – an hour to shake your hips and dance?!  Yes, please).  It is a good combination that works well for my body since I do not have the world’s greatest knees (thank you stunting and tumbling…aka competitive cheerleading) for running, and let’s be completely honest – I’ve never loved to run.  It was not an instant discovery of what was best for me, but I am so glad that I kept looking for that form of working out that was great for me – because now I go because I want to be there, not out of obligation. I get the workout my body needs, but also leave feeling oddly rested and refueled because it is something I love.

One thing that has also been a bonus to doing yoga is discovering all of these wonderful yoga clothes – workout clothes that are cute – who knew?!  There is the obvious brand that sticks out (Lululemon), but my personal favorite would have to be Prana.  A couple other great places I always look for clothes are REI, Midwest Mountaineering (a local Minneapolis store), Victoria’s Secret (love their yoga pants – and they’re way better priced than some alternatives), Lucy, and even GAP.  I have found that having cute clothes to wear while working out helps me enjoy it more.  I used to do the whole baggy t-shirt look but it made me feel frumpy, and honestly, it got in the way of the poses.  So, slowly (which was important, in order to not blow the budget), I started weeding out t-shirts and replacing them with cute workout tops – and now, I would never go back.  The movement is easier, better, and all around more enjoyable.

Do you invest in any of your workout clothes?  What sport or activity do you like to do?  Is there a specific style for that?

Thanks for letting me say hi!  You’re welcome anytime over at my normal home!

Much love,

B

Photo credits 1, 2, & 3

The Truth About Healthy Eating

This is not healthy eating.

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As a person who is very interested in health and fitness, I read a lot of magazines, newspaper articles, and books about the topic and I frequent a health and fitness message board. I’m even contemplating going to back to school for a nutrition degree (but that’s a topic for another post).

While I don’t follow any strict eating regimen like Paleo or Clean Eating, I do make most of the decisions about what I eat following the mantra of Michael Pollan, author of In Defense of Food: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.” What that means for me is:

• I eat real food, not “food products” as he calls them, as much as possible.
• I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full (this is also the mentality behind Intuitive Eating).
• I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables.

This is what a typical day’s menu has looked like recently:

Pre-Workout (5:00 am)

1 slice of whole wheat bread with 1 tbsp creamy peanut butter (I don’t eat natural peanut butter because it’s more expensive and the partially hydrogenated oil in un-natural peanut butter is so negligible, they don’t even list trans fats on the nutrition facts.)

Breakfast (7:30)

1-2 cups of cereal (common varieties are Honey Bunches of Oats, Frosted Mini-Wheats, Kashi GoLean Crunch!) with ½ cup blueberries and 1.5% milk from Royal Crest Dairy

Caffeine Fix (9:00)

1 ½ cups iced coffee with 2 packets of artificial sweetener and 1-2 tbsp fat-free liquid crack (aka Coffeemate hazelnut creamer)

Morning Snack #1 (10:00)

Banana

Morning Snack #2 (11:00)

Light flavored yogurt

Lunch (12:00 pm)

1 portion of leftovers from dinner on a bed of spinach or a spinach salad/wrap with blueberries, dried (sweetened) cranberries, feta cheese, slivered almonds, low-sodium ham, and Kraft poppyseed dressing (my favorite salad EVER.)

Afternoon Snack #1 (2:00)

Apple

Afternoon Snack #2 (3:30)

6 generic Triscuits, 1 oz cheddar cheese

Dinner (6:30)

Since this varies a lot (and my other food is usually pretty much the same), I’ll give a few common ones:

• Homemade pizza (whole wheat pocketless pitas with store-bought pizza sauce, turkey pepperoni, artichoke hearts, black olives, mushrooms, and part-skim mozzarella)
• Elk burgers on whole wheat buns, baked sweet potato fries sprinkled with sea salt
• Butternut squash and sage lasagna, garlic (white) bread, spinach salad

Late-night treat (2-3 times a month when training, 4-5 times a month in off season)

Glass of wine (or a serving of full-fat ice cream)

As you can see, I don’t eat perfectly. I would go crazy if I did. It’s too hard and too expensive to buy all of the “healthiest” versions of all foods (not to mention that sometimes the refined foods are simply more delicious). My main focus is on eating a lot of fruits and vegetables and buying the whole-grain/least processed version of everything that is reasonably priced and that I enjoy eating. (Eating healthy foods you don’t enjoy is not fun or sustainable.)

If you’re curious, I eat about 2,000-2,500 calories a day when training; 1,700-2,000 when I’m not.

Over the course of my informal research, I’ve noticed that there are a lot of misconceptions about healthy eating floating around in the general populace. Lies like “Eating healthy is expensive” and “You have to stop eating donuts for breakfast.” In general, generalizations are wrong.

To set the record straight, here is what my experience has been with eating healthily (but I am not a registered dietitian so take what I say with a grain of salt-free Mrs. Dash).

1. I spend less money at the grocery store on healthy food than I did on processed crap.

On average, I spend $40-75 a week on groceries for 2 adults (not including condiments like ketchup and olive oil). I buy mostly produce (bananas, apples, oranges, spinach, potatoes, onions, green beans, asparagus, blueberries, zucchini, yellow squash, etc.). I also buy whole wheat pasta, whole wheat crackers, low-fat yogurt, low-fat milk (we get ours delivered), low-sodium deli meat (Boar’s Head), chicken when it’s on sale (for red meat, we eat elk that Travis shot), and whatever additional ingredients I need for the 3 dinner recipes I chose for the week.

My guess is that people think eating healthy is expensive because they don’t know to not buy certain produce when it’s out of season. I don’t spend $5 a pound on grapes, buy $6 pineapples, eat gold-plated raspberries, or spend $10 on a 2 oz bag of dried apricots. If you pay attention to prices and buy the cheap and in-season produce, eating healthy is actually very affordable. Vegetables are notoriously cheap almost year-round. You can’t buy a couple pounds of potatoes, onions, and carrots and tell me they were expensive.

Also, check out grocery stores like Trader Joe’s and Sunflower Farmer’s Market that have bulk bins. I now buy tons of stuff from bulk bins that I would have bought at a regular grocery store and spend way less: flour, dried fruit, trail mix, popcorn kernels, couscous, granola, etc. Just recently, I bought 50 oz of flour for $1.50 and ½ lb of dried mango for $2.00.

I also think that people get hung up on the superfoods. These are a marketing ploy. Did you know that grapes have just as many antioxidants as acai berries? They’re also cheaper. I love this quote from the Cooking Light article called The Truth about Superfoods:

Almost everything in modern nutrition research suggests that your whole diet—which should be a varied one, containing lots of plants, with moderate amounts of total fat and salt—is the thing to focus on. Dark chocolate, edamame, and green tea do not a whole diet make.

I don’t follow food trends. I didn’t jump on the pomegranate or acai berry bandwagon and I won’t jump on any in the future. Usually, these products are overpriced and their health benefits, while real, are very comparable to benefits from other, more common (and cheaper) produce.

After reading In Defense of Food, I stopped giving certain vegetables the cold shoulder and adopted the opinion that if it grows on a plant or in the ground, it’s good for me. Vegetables like corn and russet potatoes have gotten a bad rap from the health nuts over the years because they supposedly don’t have much “nutritional value.” The truth is, corn is high in fiber and potassium and russet potatoes have fiber and protein. (Take that sweet potatoes!) Moreover, Michael Pollan makes the argument that we don’t know how different vitamins and minerals in natural foods work together. A less-processed, more-natural diet is always better. Choose the corn over vitamin-fortified, protein-injected health food.

2. I hardly ever get sick.

When I was in high school, I got sick all.the.time. Even through most of college, I got sick quite often. When I got married, learned/had a reason to cook and started eating things besides cereal and sandwiches, I started eating a lot more fruit and vegetables. I am now a believer that an apple a day keeps the doctor away: since moving out to Colorado on Labor Day weekend of 2007, I have only been sick twice. Once I had a cold and the other time, I contracted H1N1 (eeee…). I think that’s a pretty good track record.

If I start getting the feeling in my throat like I’m on the verge of getting a cold, I dial up the amount of fruit and vegetables I’m eating and try to get more sleep. I like to think I have staved off many a cold with this strategy.

3. I maintain my weight easily and happily.

I am not a carb-deprived, pill-popping, drooling-over-donuts-in-the-shop-window, I-can’t-eat-that-because-I’m-on-a-diet monster. I eat food. I love food. Even donuts. Especially donuts.

But there’s a balance. If you want to discover what that balance is, read Intuitive Eating. I cannot praise this book highly enough. It changed my eating life (it didn’t change my whole life — Jesus did that). Starting in high school, I had a friend who did not have a healthy relationship with food and it rubbed off on me. I used food as comfort, a reward, and an activity to do when I was bored. Over time, it morphed into the enemy that constantly whispered to me about how much I wanted it but couldn’t have it. I religiously watched what I ate, tracked every calorie, but then frequently overate, to the point where I was so full that all I wanted to do after eating was lie down.

Finally, I got sick and tired of counting calories and obsessing over everything I put in my mouth. I was sick of having food control me. I was sick of having no willpower. So I read Intuitive Eating for the second time in the fall of 2009 and actually did what it said. I let myself eat donuts, Twizzlers, ice cream, wine, and white bread (gasp!) when I wanted them, making sure to only eat when I was hungry and to stop when I was full.

At first, it was a little scary. What if I gain weight? But over time, I learned to eat what I wanted and to make sure I really wanted what I was eating. If something didn’t hit the spot, I didn’t eat it. If something had looked better than it tasted, I didn’t eat it. If I was comfortably full, I didn’t go for dessert anyway. I knew it I would enjoy it more if I wasn’t trying to squeeze it in between my spleen and liver.

It worked. The first time I really noticed a change in my relationship to food was Thanksgiving of 2009. My parents were out in Colorado visiting and my mom and I had cooked up an entire Thanksgiving feast for the 4 of us with all of my favorites: stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, dinner rolls, jello salads. I ate until I was comfortably full and then did the unfathomable: decided to not eat pumpkin pie afterward. I knew that if I did, it would push me over the edge to being uncomfortably full. And I hate that feeling.

I felt like I was in a twilight zone as I decided to just have a cup of coffee. I had energy to do dishes and move around after the Thanksgiving meal. You mean I don’t have to feel like I’m exploding? It was revolutionary for me.

Fast forward 2 ½ years, I hardly ever feel uncomfortably full anymore. I still do slip up once in a while when there’s a particularly tempting meal or treat, but more often than not, I stop at a good point because I know that food won’t make me happy, even though according to David Kessler, my body’s wiring tells me it will.

4. I still eat donuts, ice cream and French fries — occasionally.

I couldn’t survive without them! I think this is the #1 biggest mistake people make on diets: they don’t let themselves eat anything that is considered “bad.” (This is one of main tenets of Intuitive Eating: there are no “good” or “bad” foods. There are no food police.) The #2 biggest mistake people make is not eating enough food when they’re trying to “eat healthy.” Eating healthy does not mean eating perfectly 100% of the time and it doesn’t mean always being hungry.

But that’s not to say I don’t exercise any self-restraint or discretion. Generally speaking, when I have a craving for empty-calorie deliciousness, I don’t go out right away and indulge. I let it simmer for a few days. Usually, I have an opportunity later on to go out for ice cream with my girlfriends or for a donut with Travis. Turn your splurges into social outings. With this approach, I splurge 2-4 times a month (and by splurge, I mean eat something that has low nutritional value and high calorie/fat content).

If I’m in need of a snack at 3:30 pm on a slow-moving Thursday afternoon, and the vending machine is my only option, I pick the healthiest thing I can enjoy eating. (Lucky for me, the vending machine here has Stacy’s Simply Naked Pita Chips. Score!) Picking the healthiest thing, even though you don’t like it or it’s not really what you want, isn’t a good idea because it won’t leave you satisfied and you’ll want to eat something else (yet another idea from Intuitive Eating). If you’re thinking, Well heck, the only thing I’d enjoy eating is a candy bar, then get one. Just make sure it either has nuts in it (which will make it more filling) or it’s low in calories (so it won’t destroy your daily balance).

Eating healthy doesn’t require perfection. You don’t have to set up monstrous goals that require an all-or-nothing commitment. It’s a consistent effort to make smart choices. It’s maintaining a balance (get a shake or fries, not both). Often times, it’s choosing the lesser of two not-so-great options (they are not “evils”). In order to eat healthy for life, you need to be able to adapt and react to the different situations life throws at you. You can’t throw in the towel if you happen to eat 10 cookies in one sitting. Brush off the crumbs and make a better decision now.

 5. I still get to eat good food.

I honestly enjoy eating healthy. I love the foods I eat and I love the way I feel when I’m healthy. I love fruits and vegetables. I admit that it’s very convenient that I’m not a picky eater (except when it comes to meat) and that it would be harder for a picky eater to eat healthy. But it’s not impossible.

One thing I’ve done to broaden my horizon is to intentionally try new foods. I’ve discovered some things that I really like (eggplant, edamame, wheat berry, butternut squash, sage, couscous, pistachios) and other things that I don’t like (kale, brussel sprouts, mango, quinoa, shallots). Experiment. Try new foods and new ways of preparing familiar foods. Puree cauliflower and carrots and add them to soups, muffins, and pasta dishes. My general rule of thumb is to eat some fruit or vegetable at every meal and for at least two snacks a day.

All this is to say, people make healthy eating a lot harder than it has to be. If you’re currently not making the best food choices, don’t do a major overhaul. Start small, perhaps with cutting down on or eliminating the amount of liquid you’re drinking each day that isn’t water. Eat an apple with an ounce of cheese for a snack instead of a bag of chips. Learn what portion sizes look like. Find out the nutrition information for your “usual” and make a better choice. Bottom line is, figure out what works for you.

But don’t come to me complaining about how hard it is to eat healthy. Diets are hard. Restrictive eating guidelines are hard. Eating healthy is different. It may take a while to get the hang of it, but once you do, it’s the new normal. I will admit it takes consistent effort, but so does going to doctor’s appointments for diabetes and cholesterol meds. I’m just sayin’…

Do you find it hard to eat healthy? What food is your weakness?  Mine is carbs – I love me some cereal, bread and crackers.

I’m Loving…

Homemade Iced Coffee.

The love of family

Tonight, I finished the book I was reading called The Year of Fog by Michelle Richmond. It was a very good novel about a little girl who goes missing and the ensuing panicked search for her. The book was a little slow moving in the drama at times but it was nonetheless very insight and interesting. It said a lot about the nature of memories and human desire to preserve moments that are, by definition, passing by.

Which led me to look through old picture albums – first, the one with pictures of Travis’ and my engagement, wedding and honeymoon. Then, my study abroad trip in Venezuela. And finally, pictures of my childhood.

And it was in looking at pictures of my childhood that I realized what a blessed childhood I had. I was surrounded by loving adults – my parents, of course but also aunts, uncles, grandparents. I didn’t realize how good I had it – of course, children never do.

My mom’s mom is who I get my middle name from – Ruth. Grandma Ruth. She lived in Hendrum with my Grandpa Ralph, in a small house on the corner. I can remember exactly what the house looked like inside – you entered into a small mud room, where you could either go down into the cellar (which I never did) or into the main part of the house. Through that door, you came into the kitchen. Straight across the kitchen, there was a cold, mysterious room. The door was always shut because that the kids were not allowed in. Once, we went in and discovered the entrance to the attic but were so nervous about getting caught that we ventured no further.

To the left of the kitchen was the dining room. The right hand wall was lined with windows and the wall to the right of that was lined with cabinets. In the middle of the floor stood a giant table – so big that it took up most of the room. On the left wall, there was first the door to a small bathroom. Then there was an armoire that took up what little wall space there was. Then, the door leading out to a landing that led to the next floor.

Straight ahead through the dining room was the living room. In my memories, the furniture was never quite arranged the same when I came over. But I do remember a TV, a couch, some lamps, a bed perhaps (for when my cousins slept over) and a card sorting machine that my Grandpa liked to use when playing cards.

On the way to the upstairs, you passed by another room, one step down from the stair landing. That was the den – I’m not sure I ever went in that room. It was Grandpa’s room.

There were two flights of stairs – halfway up the second, there was this opening in the wall. It had a door and a single bulb hanging from the ceiling. I think we called it the Fort. It was big enough for 3 of us kids to fit in there at the same time, 4 if you really squeezed. Whenever we went over to Grandma Ruth and Grandpa Ralph’s house, we would race each other to that little room. There was a latch on the inside, so you could allow others to enter (or not allow) at your own discretion.

At the top of the stairs, there were 2 bedrooms – 1 had several beds in it and the other just 1. The room with just 1 bed was Grandpa’s room. We hardly ever went in there either. The other room was fun because there was a hole in the floor that looked down into the living room below. It was entertaining to listen to the adults down there, talking, when all the kids were upstairs.

But I digress. All these memories came flooding back into my head as I looked through my photo album tonight. My Grandma Ruth died when I was only 12 or 13 – I was old enough to understand what had happened but not old enough to really understand. Growing up, I had thought of her as a little bit weird – she had a back condition that made her slightly hunched over. The pictures in my album don’t disclose any animosity toward her but I can’t help but think… how did I act toward her? Did I love her? Did I thank her for the gifts she gave me, as they were sacrifices on her behalf? Or did I act like a stupid child, ungrateful, only focused on superficial details?

These thoughts so overwhelmed me as I looked at those pictures tonight that I started crying. I wish I had known her. I wish I could have told her that her love and generosity mean the world. I wish I could’ve gotten past the outward appearance and seen her for the amazing person I hear she was. Even if I had been older, if I had known her better and been more mature, I don’t know if I could have put into words that kind of emotion.

The same kind of emotion that I feel for my mom. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by how much I love her that I can’t bear the thought of this world existing without her in it. How does one go on without your beloved parent? And I know that I fail to express how much I love her, that I fail to show her how much she means to me. I don’t call her all that often, I don’t say in words how much she means. And I realize that I’m losing precious moments – they’re floating away on the winds of time – but I get too engrossed in the minute details of life to remember these truths. WHY?!?!?

The same goes for when I’m looking at pictures of my dad and me growing up – all the memories we created together. That man has a heart of gold. I know that I am precious to him and that he loves me more than words. Knowing that makes me love him even more. How do I communicate that kind of love back to him? How are words adequate for that kind of love?  The truth is, they just aren’t. And they never will be.

But that doesn’t mean we don’t try to communicate those feelings and that is where, I fear, I fall very short. I have found myself looking at gifts lately and wondering, “Did I thank that person for this?” Remembering that Travis’ parents paid for the groom’s dinner, I wondered “Did I ever tell them what a huge blessing that was?” I think I did, but I can’t remember. And what if I didn’t? I can barely stand that thought!

Every time I feel like this, so overwhelmed at how much I love my parents, I wonder why I live so far away from them. Why did I choose to move, so that I only see them 2-3 times a year? But I have to remind myself that Travis and I chose to follow the Lord and no matter how much human love consumes one’s heart, devotion to and love for the Lord always have to come first. He is ultimately the one Person who matters. And I have to entrust my heart, and all the love therein, to Him.

But I do pray that it is in the Lord’s will to let Travis and I move back to Minnesota to be near our parents when we start having kids (in a couple of years). I want my kids to know their grandparents, because they are the coolest people ever.

I love you Mom and Dad!

Undo buttons

Evidence that I’ve spent way too much time on the computer: the other day, I had pulled something out of a tight space to check it, knowing it would be hard to get back in. Once I had checked in and it was exactly what I had expected, I found myself wishing I could just press an undo button and have everything go back to how it was before I pulled it out.

Today, I was using our timing software, which is an ancient DOS-based program. No undo button in that sucker. Oh, how I wish for one though. Undo buttons make life so much easier.

But if life had an undo button, it would create a culture where people acted rashly without thinking at all about the consequences. If the consequences were negative, they could just press undo and then do it a different way.

But there are some times when I’d really like an undo button in real life.

Top 10 Things I Love About Christmas

1. It signifies Christ’s entrance into this world as a human and as the Savior for humankind.

2. Family

3. Christmas Songs (the tradition ones sung in church like Come All Ye Faithful and O Silent Night) and Music, mostly notably Kenny G and Manheim Steamroller (my parents’ influences, what can I say!)

4. Christmas Trees

5. Candles and Fires

6. Snow!

7. Christmas Decorations

8. Food!

9. Church Christmas Programs

10. The indescribable, irrepresentable cozy feeling of Christmas

I love Christmas and am SO READY FOR IT!

Travis and I are going back to Minnesota to see our families December 18-27. Can’t wait!

Midnight thoughts

Ok, so it technically isn’t midnight. But I tried to go to bed with Travis and was just laying there, wide awake. I didn’t want to go to bed. But then, I didn’t want to read, watch TV, or be on the computer either. So I tried to go to bed, though I wasn’t that tired. Usually I just can lay there long enough to fall asleep. If my eyelids start feeling heavy when I try opening my eyes, I know that I’ll be falling asleep soon enough. But tonight, nada.

And then I started thinking about stuff I could blog about. So what better time to write said blog than right when I’m thinking about it?

The 3 things I was thinking about were:

1) I’ve been toying with the idea of training for a sprint triathalon. I haven’t quite found the energy to  commit to another running race of any substancial distance (or any race at all, for that matter) and one of my co-workers, D, is training for a triathalon. She’s planning on doing like 6 different ones this summer. Um, one sounds good to me.

I finally looked up training programs this week and realized that Holy Cow! If I’m really going to do a triathalon this summer, I need to start training like, 2 months ago. Because even though I’m a decent runner, I am not in biking shape (I can do a leisurely 7 miles…) and I don’t know the first thing about swimming. The triathalon I want to do is July 18th (3 days after my 26th b-day!), so that leaves me just about 19 weeks from tomorrow to train. Gulp.

First order of business is getting the equipment. I need a swimsuit (as I don’t own a one-piece), I need to get my bike fixed and to buy a helmet, and in an ideal world, I would also buy new sports bras (for the running part, though it’s just a 5K so I’m not too worried about it).

Second order of business is mustering up the courage to go to the swimming pool. For some reason, the pool intimidates me to no end. If there was some way I could get around having to go to a public pool (where there are probably rules I don’t know about and people who will gawk and point at this poor little girl who only knows how to doggie paddle–ok, so I do know some real strokes), I totally would do it. But I don’t think there is. At least, not an economical way.

Man, I can just see myself putting this off and putting this off. But once I buy a swimsuit (hopefully tomorrow), I will have no excuse!

In the meantime, I will be trading the elliptical for the bike at the gym in hopes of getting ready for a 10.5-mile bike ride. I will also be raising money for Life Choices Pregnancy Center, since the triathalon I want to do is the Tri For Your Cause. So if you all want to support me, I totally encourage it! (But I would wait until I have a better idea if this whole doing-a-triathalon-this-summer idea is realistic).

2) As I mentioned in my earlier post, I went out for Chinese food tonight with Travis and Debb (my boss) and her husband, Rick. It was lot of fun. Driving home, I realized what a blessing it is to have older Christians in our lives who we can learn from and bond with. I have never been friends with people so much older than me before but I like it!

Anyway, I ordered the Sweet N Sour Chicken. I had debated about ordering tofu and veggies but settled on the chicken. It was a disappointing meal. The chicken was really tough and it just wasn’t that fantastic. (Chinese food is one of those take-it-or-leave-it foods for me. I’m not that huge of a fan…although I do love tofu.) A disappointing meal turned into a regrettful meal once I discovered (no surprise) that the fried chicken gave me acid reflux.

A condition I didn’t realize I had until it landed me in the ER one day with horrible chest pains, acid reflux (for me) is just a nuisance. Instead of being painful, it usually just makes me feel incredibly nauseated. When I overate on fried food at a friend’s birthday party, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like I had just ridden on a merry-go-round for 24 hours straight. I couldn’t throw up so I went back to bed in writhing pain, only to realize that I had acid reflux, not an upset stomach (at least not the kind that makes you puke). So I took some meds, propped myself up on 4 giant pillows, and fell back asleep. The next morning, though, I seriously felt like I had been throwing back tequila shooters all night. A literal food hangover. Yuck.

But tonight, I just feel a little nauseated. Which isn’t fun when I have a cold and sore throat to begin with. Ah, but such is life.

Which brings me to my conclusion:

KATHY’S STOMACH: “Kathy, you don’t like fried food. You don’t like greasy food.”

KATHY’S TASTE BUDS: “I know, I know. It just all sounds so good on the menu. But then I order it and it really doesn’t live up to the hype. I usually end up wishing I had ordering some grilled chicken on a salad. Or a sandwich. Like the Panera breakfast sandwich that I’m going to eat tomorrow morning. Or a Tasty Turkey sandwich from Einstein Bros. Bagels. Mmmm…turkey.”

STOMACH: “So why do you still eat fried and greasy foods when you don’t like them and you know they give you acid reflux?”

TASTE BUDS: “Um, I don’t know.”

STOMACH: “Well, will you cut it out already? I’m dying down here.”

That’s what you get from me at 11:48 PM. (Hey, it’s late for me!)

3) I have a wonderful little day planned out tomorrow. Travis is getting up at 6 AM to go ice fishing so that means I have the morning and early afternoon all to my lonesome.

If I can get to sleep sometime this week, I’ll be getting up early-ish (who knows what time since my sleep schedule is all out of whack now–usually I get up around 7:00) and going to the Rec for some much-needed exercise. (Note: I will be doing the bike in prep for the tri…and probably some elliptical too, we’ll see how I feel). Then I will shower and head to Panera for a delicious breakfast sandwich (every morning I hear their commercial, my mouth starts to water…their sandwiches that good). While at Panera, I will get in the Word and probably do a crossword. Then I might go to the library. The book I had wanted to check out (Good Calories, Bad Calories) sounds a lot more scientific and intense than I can handle…but maybe I’ll find another book I want to check out.

I also need to clean the house and chip away some more of my article to translate, AND I need to buy a swimsuit for the tri, but other than that, my day is wide open.

So there you have it, 3 midnight thoughts to snack on. Toodles.

Inspirations from a Shopaholic

I just got back from seeing Confessions of a Shopaholic with 2 of my girl friends. SUCH a cute movie! *Sigh* I love chick flicks. There’s nothing like a good girlie movie to put you in a good mood!

I left the movie theater feeling inspired, uplifted, hopeful. Not because I feel like my spending problems have finally been put in perspective (since I don’t have spending problems) but because the character of Rebecca Bloomberg made me realize a few things.

1. It’s okay to be a girlie girl. I’ll admit it: I love shiny things. I love sparkles and glitter–even just the words. I love being pampered with spa treatments, hair cuts and dyes, makeup, manicures, pedicures. I love bright colors, new clothes, fun purses, cute shoes, and the perfect accessories. My love for those things used to get me in a bunch of trouble a la Rebecca Bloomwood (though not quite to that extent) but since becoming a Christian, my priorities have changed and I realize that no, a cute new perfect-with-this-outfit purse is not going to make me happy.

But so often, I get trapped into the mentality that to be a happy, carefree, clueless-about-certain-things kind of girl is a no-no. You have to be serious, smart, and sensible. Um, no I don’t! 

2. It’s okay to be yourself. Throughout the movie, Rebecca Bloomwood gets into enough awkward social situations that I’m pretty sure I watched 3/4 of the movie through my fingers because my hands were covering my face in empathetic embarrassment. But she has a contagious personality and everyone loves her.

Yes, it is a movie (originally a fictitious book) but I think that there is a message there nonetheless: embrace who you are. You may be awkward in social situations, say things at the wrong time, do stupid things without thinking about them, and get yourself into situations that are humiliating yet humbling. But if that’s who you are, then embrace it!

I have the blessing/curse of being analytical about everything. It’s a blessing as a writer but a curse in any social situation. Instead of being myself and saying whatever I’m thinking around other people, I analyze it first, think about how it would sound if I said it, wonder how the others will receive it. It holds me back often. Even though I cringed at all her faux pas, I want to be more like Rebecca Bloomwood: vivacious, audacious, and lively.

3. Life should be full of adventure and challenge. God did not intend for life to be sterile and predictable. As a creature of comfort, this is a truth that I so quickly forget (or in many instances, ignore). A predictable life is easy. But it’s also boring and a shame.

A lot of Rebecca Bloomwood’s drama is her own fault–she has told lies, dodged creditors and they are coming back to bite her. But some of the excitement comes from who she is–she goes after what she wants and is determined. She puts herself into intimidating circumstances (like the business press conference at the beginning when she stands up and asks a question and the APA conference where she meets dozens of fellow journalists). Again, it is a movie and my life will never resemble hers. But it snapped me out of my ho-hum existence and reminded me that there’s more to life than this.

It is this realization that makes me especially grateful for my husband. He makes life unpredictable. He is always playing around, singing, whistling, joking. I’m always serious. I think I could learn a thing or two from Travis about lightening up a bit and not taking everything so seriously–about having fun in life!

So there you have it folks, the inspirations I took away from a Shopaholic. I highly recommend the movie if you like chick flicks.

Ode to Mint Mojito

Besides being endlessly fun to say, this flavor of Orbit gum is amazing. I was a longtime fan of Peppermint in the dark blue packaging. But came to find that the mintyness didn’t bode well for my acid reflux (weird!!). So I had to give it up. I tried all of the fruity kinds. They were good but eh. Nothing amazing.

Then Travis bought Mint Mojito.

I had seen it in stores but steered clear of it because of the “mint” in its name (why would mint mojito be any different than peppermint?) Plus, I had had Mint Mojito flavored Bacardi Silver and it was…just ok. But I tried a piece of the gum and was delightfully surprised that the gum is more sweet than minty.

And let’s just be honest, it’s also fantastic.

I braved the 30 to 52 mph winds today just to buy Mint Mojito across the street at the gas station. I’ve looked at the grocery stores, Target, other gas stations. No one carries it. This is one of the biggest mysteries of the universe. Why on God’s green goodness would they NOT sell the BEST gum EVER?

It’s simply mindboggling.

But lucky for me, our neighborhood gas station stocks it regularly.

I love you, Mint Mojito gum.

Clarity and Hope

I’ve been wanting to blog for the past couple of days but I’ve been [shocker] busy at work and [bigger shocker] busy outside of work this week. So here I am on a nice little Saturday, taking time to read the Bible, pray, and blog.

[Side note/Update: My resolutions for this year are going well. I did create a little reward system for meeting my goals each week and so far, I've been doing really well. The hardest thing has been to exercise 6 days a week (my body isn't used to it) but other than that, I have been consistent in getting in the Word and praying daily as well as memorizing one verse a week. We won't talk about eating... I'm not expecting complete consistency there.]

Saturdays are my favorite day of the week. That’s why I would love to be a writer by vocation: every day could be a Saturday (except Sunday because I’d still have to go to church in the morning). But I love being able to get up early (today I got up at 7:30…I’ve been trying to get up relatively close to when I get up for work so that I don’t mess up my sleep cycle on the weekends) and eat breakfast, read the Bible, pray…just be very relaxed. It reminds me a lot of college. Every day was like this…I loved it back then too.

Anywho…can you tell I’m more upbeat today than I have been in some of my recent posts? (I was being a total Debbie Downer…but I was also being honest.) The reason for my mood/outlook change is that God has been faithful in giving me insight into the past few months.

I was living in my failures and sinfulness. Even though I “knew” I was forgiven, I was still carrying them around as my personal burden. Especially in my marriage. I saw my sin affecting Travis and I was terrified that I was going to ruin our marriage, drive him away–that’d we’d wake up one day in 15 years and realize we no longer knew each other at all…and that we’d be able to trace it back to something I did or said that set the ball in motion.

I was also hating myself. For sinning again and again. For (from my perspective) never learning or advancing. For being a coward and a hypocrite.

But this past week, I remembered that there are many stories in the Bible that depict God using sin or using people in spite of their sin to accomplish His purposes. That means I can’t thwart God’s will or purposes by my sin. That means He can make our marriage thrive even despite my constant threats to kill it. I was making my sin and failures all about me…when nothing is all about me. It’s all about Him. And HE is so much BIGGER than my sin. Who am I to think that my failures will deter Him from His will?

I also realized that I have been holding myself back from God. I felt like a failure and a pathetic sinner who would never learn. When reminded of God’s love,  a tiny voice inside me said, “Yeah but, I’m still doing X and struggling with Y. God’s love is great but first I want to stop doing all these things that I hate.” Silly girl, it’s God’s love that enables you stop doing all those things you hate.

BarlowGirl’s song “I Need You to Love Me” sums up my realizations well:

Why? Why are you still here with me?
Didn’t you see what I’ve done?
In my shame I want to run,
And hide myself.
Yeah, but it’s here I see the truth,
I don’t deserve you.

But I need you to love me,
And I, I won’t keep my heart from you this time.
And I’ll stop this pretending that I can,
Somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me

I, I have wasted so much time
Pushing you away from me.
I just never saw how you
Could cherish me.
Cause you’re a God who has all things,
And still you want me.

Your love makes me forget what I have been.
Your love makes me see who I really am.
Your love makes me forget what I have been.

My favorite line of that song is “Cause you’re a God who has all things, and still you want me.” Me, a sinner. Me, a girl trapped in self-pity. Me, an unremarkable person. You want me. You want me. You want me. How powerful each of those 3 little words is.

I have also been reading “God Has a Dream for Your Life” by Sheila Walsh. It’s a good book. Very easy reading. There are 2 passages that stand out to me regarding the whole questioning-life-and-purpose thing I’ve been going through for the past 6 months or so.

On discovering who I am and what God’s will for me is:

“So what are we to make of this God-given promise that if we delight ourselves in him, he will give us the desires of our heart? I love what C.S. Lewis says in Mere Christianity: ‘Your real self will not come as long as we are looking for it. It will come when you are looking for Him.’

“My own journey has taken me away from trying so hard to find the will of God for my life. It has taken me to the place of brokenness and letting go of everything I thought I needed. I found peace and purpose as I lay exhausted at the feet of the Lion of Judah. It took me many years to understand that God wanted my heart, not my schedule.”

God wants my heart, not my fine-tuned plans for aiding His kingdom. He wants me to be who I really am in Christ, not try to be someone I’m not.

On my desire to write but feeling it’s prideful to want to do so:

“Don’t turn your light down just because it seems to burn brighter than the one who stands beside you. Let it shine and hold it high. The liberating truth is that none of this is about you anyway–it is all about God. If God has given you a voice to sing, then sing out for him. If God has given you the gift of mercy, then pour out that mercy in Jesus’ name whether anyone gets it or not. If God has given you a heart to serve, then serve with your whole heart even if no one stops to say thank you. If God has given you the ability to teach, then teach with vision and passion.

“Whatever God has placed in you, use it.”

I’m planning on starting my weekly writing retreats (to Panera, Starbuck’s, or a cute local coffee shop if I find one) this week on Tuesday. I have a lot of books on writing to read, old journals to review, and a long way to go. But it’s my dream and I’m going to pursue until God slams the door in my face. At least I’ll know that I have been faithful in using the gifts God has given me.