“To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, ‘A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.’”

(Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel.)

Explaining the events that got me here is like untangling a spider web. Everything is so intricately woven together and sticky that it’s hard to lay the pieces out in a coherent, logical order. I’m still untangling and making sense of it.

But many of the pieces have fallen into place, much like a Tetris game. When the matching blocks interlock and make a whole layer, they explode and disappear, leaving fewer questions in their wake. As the blocks of my old life align–connecting and explaining the past, present, and future–they are hurled into the ocean by God, never to be seen again.

I love experiencing the goodness of God.