I have been MIA from the blogging world because life has exploded. I started my new job, our dogs are misbehaving left and right, people are having babies, getting married, and graduating from high school, and I’m training for a triathlon, cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning, gardening, etc. I’m taking it one day at a time.
My spiritual life has been suffering the most. I’ve been trying to work out a flow to my mornings so that I can both train and get in the Word. I’m starting to think that getting in the Word at lunch might be more realistic but I would prefer the morning. So I’m still experimenting (getting up at 5 am is hard after being unemployed!). Combine my inconsistency with the Word with having a new job and daily schedule and I feel like I’m living in a twilight zone.
This happened to me when I started my job for the triathlon company last year and it wore off after a few weeks, so I’m not too worried. But I miss God! I just feel spiritually distant, as if God isn’t relevant or intimate in this new realm I’m living in.
Today during lunch, I sat down at my computer with my small, waterlogged Bible that Travis took to Ghana and this is what came out:
In the midst of chaos
I know God is still there
But I’m lost in transience
Unhinged from reality
Trying to run to Truth
With my heart as the hurdle
What happened to my grip on eternity,
My basking in forever,
My praise of the Glorious One
This earth doesn’t know?
My only comfort is You
A Rock of strength in a heart of quicksand
You uphold me when I’m lost at sea
All my driftings are charted
On Your map
And You’ll lead me home again
For You have prepared me
For this very thing
I didn’t take the time to edit it much so it’s pretty raw and I haven’t written a poem in years – poetry is the way I express my heart when there aren’t sufficient words for how I feel. So that’s where I am right now. I am so thankful that, like Matt Redman writes in his song How Great is Your Faithfulness,:
Everything changes, but You stay the same
Your word and kingdom endure
We lean on the promise of all that You are
And trust forevermore
We will trust forevermore