So yesterday, I was almost convinced that I was pregnant. I have been having major mood swings, craving comfort food, my period hadn’t come when it was supposed to, and I got a major cold sore on my lip. But then I did get Aunt Flo so it turns out that I’m just an emotional and hormonal wreck who loves to eat! How ’bout that?

The thought of me being pregnant was really exciting though and I’m kind of sad that it’s not real. It’s so weird that I am so anxious to have a baby. Before I became a Christian in college, I wasn’t sure I even wanted kids at all. After I became a Christian, I knew that I definitely wanted kids but not until I was in my late 20s. Then I got married and thought maybe after 5 years or so, kids would be a possibility. Now here I am, married for 8 months, and I want a baby NOW!

But the thing keeping me from talking to Travis about the real possibility of having kids right now is that it just isn’t practical at this point. We are hopefully buying a second car this week and then a house this summer. Travis is still planning on going back to grad school in the fall and I just found out yesterday that I owe my parents $8,000 that I borrowed from them while I was in college. Add to that, I want to be a stay-at-home mom after having kids. So financially, a baby right now would really throw us for a loop.

That’s not to say, though, that if God were to make me pregnant by His sovereign will, I wouldn’t be completely estatic…